A Slithering Situation (btw — this is fake news)


Mason Kinnahan, Intro Reporter

Last week a 120-pound python found its way into Briar Woods High School’s ceiling pipes. The serpent was discovered when multiple tiles in the roof collapsed in Mrs.Harrison’s classroom while she was teaching. The slithering beast frightened multiple students before heading out into the hallway. It made its way to the cafeteria before anyone else realized there was a snake in the school. The snake continued to go unnoticed until Jack Grater, a ninth-grader, sensed a squirmy, slimy feeling down by his foot. A week later we asked him about the traumatic events. His response was that “it was scary. At first [he] thought it was a pencil or something small until [he] turned around and saw it was a massive snake!” The python continued its way through the cafeteria causing kids to scatter across the room in fear. While the snake was making its way around the cafeteria, Mrs. Alzate, the principal, was informed and immediately called pest control to come to the school. In the meantime, she went to take a look at the beast herself. The snake slid into the kitchen and was heading toward the fridge. One kid said he saw “the snake open the refrigerator door by itself,” while another student believed he saw, “the door just magically opened.” But one way or another, the snake got into the fridge and came out with a slice of pizza. To this day people still question why the snake decided on the cardboard pizza. 

The last place anyone saw the snake was behind the refrigerator. That was one week ago. Once pest control got to the school, they checked everywhere, from the classrooms to the cafeteria, but never found the python. Today, the Briar Woods snake could still be hiding in the building or maybe it has moved on to terrorize another Loudoun County school.